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Discomfort

 

The path to achievement is uncomfortable. Yet a little discomfort now will prevent a lot of regret later. ~Ralph Marston

 This quote could apply to so many different areas of my life. Growth IS uncomfortable! There's the pains and the stretch marks and the mess...oye.

I've started remembering my dreams again. I dreamt of something horrible this morning - headless people whacking the heads off of other people - but it gave me a new idea for a short story, beginning to end! With our new study setup, I have easy access to my desk and a comfortable seat where I can spew words on a page. It got me thinking that I wanted to take time to sit down and write again.

So a couple weeks ago, I did. Pulling story ideas and characters from my head was like pulling teeth! It was terribly painful, and I began to fear that my well of creativity had gone dry from disuse. In a way, it did. But I kept sitting down to write - I made the time and I sat in front of my computer and I wrote out some ideas and some paragraphs, and I deleted ideas and paragraphs... I just kept doing it until in frustration I poured out a lot of deep-down feelings about what it meant to write and what did I really want to write, and from there, an idea began to form. An idea for a novel, and though this kind of novel will require more research on my part, I'm excited and nervous about its formation.

Then I have this dream, and in my head throughout the day at work, I wrote a story around the dream. Now it'll mean some time putting it to the page, fleshing it out, and editing, but I am so ecstatic to have a story at all. Even if it's terrible, it's something. Earlier this evening, I brewed a cup of caffeine-free peppermint tea, lit my chocolate-scented candle gifted to me by a dear friend, and started the writing.

I can continue working on the novel, and still write short stories. Who knows, maybe the poetry will make an appearance, too.

In another area of discomfort, I interviewed a few candidates for a position at the after-school program I manage. I have the delightful privilege to tell someone (who is currently unemployed) that they got the job, but I have the sticky displeasure to tell three other people (two of whom are also unemployed) that they did not. I've also had to, in this year, fire someone, suspend someone, and have given a few employees warnings. This is all in the best interest of the program. I expect for staff to be professional, safe, and flexible. We serve approximately one-hundred-forty K-6 students, and I have got to ensure the quality of the program, and therefore the quality of its staff. Also, I have to stretch to fit new shoes of a supervisor, and improve upon myself.

Again, discomfort for the sake of good.

Food Craze

Tonight I baked a pumpkin and started making pumpkin puree! I plan on making banana pumpkin protein muffins, pumpkin smoothies, slow cooker pumpkin soup, and pumpkin pie chia pudding!

I've also been enjoying making lunches with my bento box. 1. Romaine lettuce, egg, avocado, tomato (Mexico Midgets from my garden) and a container of lite soy sauce. 2. Quinoa with black beans, bell pepper, salsa, and Greek yogurt (great sub for sour cream!). 3. Steamed tofu, snap peas, potato, and the little container holds a mixture of soy sauce, peanut butter, and sriracha.

This weekend, I:

*put books up in our new shelves

*bought a ton of blueberries and blackberries (I want to make these blackberry protein mini-cheesecakes)

*had a blast following 45 min of Zumba videos on YouTube!

*sat down and wrote some ideas out for a book

*bought new workout clothes - black and teal pants with a teal jacket

*hung out with another awesome couple - we tried out Bon Appetit Cafe and Creperie, and the food was amazing! I had ratatouille in a buckwheat crepe followed by a flambee (La Salidou - apples in a wheat crepe with caramel salted butter, vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and Chantilly)

*penned in a new drawing

*pored through seed catalogs with a good friend to pick out some new varieties to grow this season!

*got my first copy of Yoga Journal! I used to have a subscription in my early twenties, but I forgot to renew, and then finally got around to just picking it up again last month
*read more of "Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life" by Thich Nhat Hanh

*baked Blueberry Baked Oatmeal and Apple Breakfast Cake - both nutritious and delicious!

Today was MLK Day of Service with Public Allies - there's a post coming up soon! Hope your weekend was productive or restful - whichever you need it to be!

Croissants and Kayaks

Hello 2012, Day 2! My sister spent the weekend with us, and this morning we three indulged in chocolate croissants from Trader Joe's. Though I am getting back into eating clean, I made the decision to have these since they've been sitting in our freezer for months and they needed to go. I hate wasting food, so the next best thing was to share it with two of my favorite people on the planet.

There was some work to be done. I am putting together the annual report for my placement organization. Then, after running some errands (including buying a new mechanical pencil, a new sketchbook, and sumi ink for my bamboo pen) we drove my sister home. We took our truck because...

The kayak was coming home with us! My mother won the kayak in a raffle months ago, and I was more excited about her winning it than she was! She decided obviously I was the bigger kayak enthusiast, so as of Christmas Day, she gifted the kayak to me. Isn't she wonderful? Lover will be investing in his own kayak so we can explore the nearby waterways together. I am so excited!

I made baked apple breakfast cake topped with blueberry muesli for our PJs and Pancakes Party (happened yesterday), and I tried it for the first time tonight! It was scrumptious, and healthy, made with buckwheat flour, apples, cinnamon, and only two tablespoons of brown sugar.

I also sketched out a pencil drawing to be filled in with ink. January is Pen & Ink month, so I hope to put in a lot of hours exploring this medium.

How about you? How's the post-holiday transition into a new calendar year?

Hanumanasana

I practiced on the mat today, moving from Baddha Konasana to Supta Virasana to Hanumanasana (pictured above, though I am not so pliable) and ending in Tadasana. It's my one of my resolutions to achieve the true form of Hanumanasana, and in the meantime build a regular habit of yoga practice. I like that yoga is always a practice, and never a performance.

I worked further on my scarf for Lover - a simple stockinette stitch alternating between a chocolate brown merino yarn and a reddish mahogany-colored merino yarn. My sister stayed for the night and we made popcorn and put in "Hook," reliving our favorite parts of a kick-ass movie. All this after our very fun PJs and Pancakes Party.

Hanumanasana is all about careful positioning, stretching, and balance. I have a feeling this will be a pattern for 2012. A balance of play and work, creativity and mundania, fuzzy rabbit slippers and polished dress shoes. I will continue to stretch in my position at work, and I will stretch myself as a creative and artist. The positioning will be all about my time management and to-dos.

Here's to us, and our ability to stretch and grow.

Poetry Slam Turned Open Mic Night

I wish I had taken pictures.

I didn't. But our Teen Poetry Slam morphed into an intergenerational open mic. I think it was for the best. The folks who joined us - several teenagers, and a few adults - seemed to feel a creative camaraderie that begged the question, "will this become a regular occurrence?"

I don't see why not.

I'll be writing a letter to my executive director tomorrow reporting on our success.I'll recommend that we cultivate a creative following, a bimonthly open mic event in collaboration with the city library that will attract new people, which will introduce our organization to even more of the city's population.

I'm thinking this is the way to go. Low cost, low key, and multiple layers of benefit.

Life is a Marathon

It has been intense since I returned for a second year of AmeriCorps Public Allies. My placement is experiencing some changes, namely my supervisor moved to Wisconsin and her job was spliced up and given to various employees, including myself. I now oversee an after-school program that is understaffed and over-budget. I am supposed to be giving art classes to our students while managing staff and doing payroll. However, I find between meetings and administrative work, I am rarely available to give the art instruction. I am also organizing parent nights, staff trainings, and finding activities and funding for our students. My capacity as a supervisor of staff is growing, and my brain is learning how to juggle a thousand different balls.

The job that I actually came on to do was to start a Peer Educator program. And I'm still doing it. I recently held a student focus group and am now blasting out the job description in hopes of interviewing candidates and commencing training in mid January. Peer Educators will receive 25 hours in training and then have the opportunity to coordinate two community projects related to my organization's mission - to reduce teen pregnancy and the spread of HIV and AIDS. They get a stipend dependent on their participation in outreach, and they will also have an arsenal of skills to get them into college and higher employment. I'm really excited about this program, but it is overshadowed by the colossus of the after-school program. Oye.

I also am coordinating our second teen event - our first was a city-wide talent show and art exhibit that drew in 60 contestants, 25 volunteers, and over 70 audience members. This time we're doing a Poetry Slam.

Did I mention that I am in charge of our social media and quarterly newsletter?

I'm still me, though. Recently painted a picture for this year's holiday card to send out, been running like crazy, starting to see muscles everywhere (I'm also lifting), and I lost ten pounds in a month and a half. I was eating really well for a while, clean, healthy wholesome, eating, but the holiday parties have me a strange schedule of chocolate binges. Been knitting and reading and hanging out with friends. Thinking of next year's garden, and I can't wait to build a coop and get chicks. My love and I finished the painting upstairs and moved our bedroom up. It's super cool - all the colors found in a peacock's tail feathers. I've met all my resolutions for 2011 (more on that later) and am making new ones for 2012. The pets are healthy and whole, and our lights are up on the house for the holidays. I'm sure soon there will be a Hanukkah dinner with Lover's parents, Christmas Day with my mother and sister, and Festivus for Lover and I.

Did I mention I was accepted into a Graduate Studies program? I will start earning a Masters in Science for Environmental Education in the summer of 2012. Pretty f-in awesome.

Also, Lover and I made our first homebrew - a stout, that turned out successfully delicious.

So, in a nutshell, life has been a marathon. I keep having to check my pace, my form, and take a sip of gatorade, but I'm moving forward all the while. Can't get better than that.

Mary Oliver

“You do not have to be good. 

 You do not have to walk on your knees 

for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
call to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.”
― Mary Oliver

A Memorable Summer

Things that happened this summer:

I was fingerprinted twice.

I renewed my license and got a great picture i.d.

Lover and I got a dishwasher.

I biked Santa Monica pier using a "chopper."

I touched a banana slug in Muir Woods.

I spent my 30th birthday in NYC for tapas and poets at Bluestockings.

I ate delicious fresh fortune cookies from the Fortune Cookie Factory in San Francisco.

I lead a production crew for Othello.

Lover and I went to Lake Tahoe and rented Jetskis!

I found wooden snowshoes at a flea market.

I officially became President of the Soroptimist River Valley Club.

I saw dolphins in the water below Golden Gate Bridge.

Lover and I picked out hardwood flooring for the upstairs.

I installed a new garden bed on the corner with Lover's help.

I harvested vegetables from my own garden.

I scored a bread maker at a tag sale.

I completed the Warrior Dash with my friends Geli and Katty.

I participated in guerilla gardening with seed bombs.

I biked to work.

I completed an eight-week AmeriCorps program.

I went to the Museum of Tolerance while visiting Los Angeles.

I pickled cucumbers and dried hot peppers.

Lover and I experienced "Sleep No More".

I repainted the living room a light, creamy orange.

I lost eight pounds and two inches off the waist.

A lot more happened, but I think this is a good summary. Happy First Day of Fall!

Homemade Laundry Detergent

 Anyone out there use a homemade laundry detergent? Have you tried more than one recipe? What recipe do you use and why?

Thanks!

Also, here's a photo of a turkey that was probably 80 feet up in our tree. It got down eventually.