Before I begin this, let me tell you right now, that I live a wonderful life. I have a loving and fun husband, fabulous friends, a number of fulfilling interests, jobs that engage my creativity and expertise, and a supportive family. I didn't always have these things - I've had many painful experiences. They are nothing that I will divulge here in the interest of (a) further cultivating healthy relationships that have resolved old wounds, and (b) letting go of old frustrations and griefs.
The bottom line is, that though I have endured abuse, loss, and family tragedy, I am not experiencing any of those things right now. From time to time, I have tenacious anxiety issues, and my go-to coping mechanism is anger. I have hurt people close to me when I lash out or react in a passive aggressive manner. I feel that in my natural state that I am actually an open and loving person. I am quick to laugh, and I find joy in things both simple and elaborate. I would rather trust in the good of everyone. I imagine there are a lot of you out there, that are like me.
This blog began as a therapeutic tool to record the successes and celebrations in my life. It was a way for me to look back on all the vital, positive, and transformative experiences of my life. In time, I didn't need to do it so often. In time, it became a bit of a chore.
As I begin living a life steeped in values of my choosing, committing actions which fall in line with my values, and build an indomitable will against those things which would like to force me astray, I remind myself of how far I have come. As we live a life that is a result of both chance and choice, I can say that I have made some of the best choices in my life in these past few years.
This blog, henceforth, will be about living a joyful life with intention. I will plan my days, though I always allow for spontaneity. I will remind myself to experience each moment as life unfolds. I'll do my best to set goals and follow through on commitments. I'll record my experiences here.
So, what might this blog look like as I set this intention?
I might share a moment among friends, or a finished project (or...unfinished ones!), I will most likely share moments about my backyard poultry, and art, and love, and all things good. I might also share frustrations and sad moments. I don't need this blog to be a highlights reel, as much as I need it to be real. I don't expect to accomplish everything. I can't.
Though I would really like to. ;)
So, this is me, perfect in my imperfection, always a work-in-progress, and in each moment alone, a completed masterpiece. From my heart to yours.
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