Recycle!

I tweeted this, but I wanted to share it here with you!

Check out: Recycle Anything...yes Anything! - Crushing down plastic soda bottles,... http://bit.ly/9FiDaD

Also, here's a silly picture.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

You can't change the seasons...

I always find so much to share, and so much that I want to share here on my blog! Yet I seem to find little time to post things to match the depth and scope I would like to - meaning I write quick posts and do my best to add pictures, though I'd like to match it with engaging and descriptive paragraphs of superb writing skill... Yet, perhaps that would be too verbose for a blog, anyway.

So, this is the quote I'd like to share today, along with some quick thoughts:

"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself" - Jim Rohn

 

Some time ago, I found myself stagnating, depressed, wallowing and wondering where my self-destructive tendencies came from. I was fearful of the future and fearful of true intimacy with others. I felt that life was a biochemical propulsion forward to...what? That question drove me crazy. It was a series of circumstances and environmental factors, plus previous personal choices, that had lead me to this place of darkness. 

 Activities that were once fun and meaningful had become dead and mechanical. I withdrew from friends, family, a lover, and amused myself for hours on a computer. I had no interest in killing myself, but ceasing to exist would have been agreeable to me. 

At some point I realized that if I was going to live this life, I might as well live it well. The fear and anxiety had become a habit. The sadness and numbness, which had alleviated the physical pain of the anxiety for temporary periods of time, had started to subside, leaving the door open for days and nights of a twisted stomach, palpitations, and what felt like a vise grip around my chest, hindering my lungs in breathing. Obsessive thoughts and analytical thinking further narrowed my view, until whatever topic it was that provoked the anxiety became all there was to life - my life, which is filled with so many things, became only this one, terrible thing that had me wrapped in a ball. 

 It's no way to live. And since I had decided to live, I couldn't continue this way. I got professional help. I reached out to friends. I read literature about depression and anxiety, and about the brain and new neuroscience. I watched ted.com talks on the psychology and brain science of happiness.  I began counting the things in my life that were good - on some days I counted the fact that I had two legs, or eyes that could see, or hands, as things to be grateful for. I began planning for the future. There was no room for advancement in my job, and I wanted to earn a Masters, though I was having trouble deciding on what one. I applied for AmeriCorps to continue working in non-profit where advancement was more likely to happen, and I would gain an education award while I decided what my Masters would be in. I gained a lover who I tried in self-destruction to alienate, but I knew he was a good partner, and he has to this day proven himself to be extremely supportive. I put negative people in my life at a distance, so I could keep my sanity, or what was left of it. I began finding activities that relaxed me, or gave me joy, and also allowed me to feel accomplished.

In other words, after isolating and shrinking into my little world of despair, I expanded. I nurtured relationships with people who were healthy for me. I gained professional advice. I stretched my knowledge on neuroscience to have a better understanding of myself, and figured out ways to make myself feel better and empowered. I made choices that would lead me to more opportunities in life, and am continuing to make choices that do so. I am defining personal boundaries, and learning how to communicate fully, openly, and honestly. I don't allow labels or diagnoses, or assumed patterns of behavior, to control how I live my life.

This all took time. But time passes whether we change ourselves or not. Changing is hard, and there are plenty of relapses. I still have days where I am anxious or sad, and I still have instances where real anger snowballs into bitchy behavior - and I witness this from within somewhere and feel like I can't stop it. But I have a goal, and I keep working towards it. 

My resolutions for the new year mainly have to do with health. Over these past few years where my mental health was in jeopardy, I largely ignored the state of my physical health. Now at the brink of thirty, I must say I have a little regret in that. Yet, I have a changing mental state, and that is helping me to understand how it informs my physical state of health. For example, I know I have a neurochemical addiction to chocolate. I see, or think of it, and I immediately begin salivating. When I eat it, my brain receives a rush of pleasurable dopamine. When I begin to crave chocolate, part of what's happening is that my brain is in need of the dopamine fix. Lucky for me, the neuroplasticity of the brain allows me to work on rewiring the circuits. Instead of hitting up an ice cream parlor, or the cupboards where I have hid some candy bars, I can find something else that will give me the same pleasure rush, but without the caffeine, cavities, and calories.

It's all easier said than done, of course. Figure out what it is that you can't change, and then work on changing what can be changed (and needs to be) within that framework. I think you'll find that that framework will expand as you do.

Salient Sunday, Dec 26

1. Christmas Day. My family celebrates a secular Christmas, as do Lover and I. We love the bright lights, the food, and the giving and getting of gifts. Christmas morning was with my family to open gifts by their tree. I got a beautiful, new tote for work from my mom, plus a really nice parka, and an extensive hot cocoa kit (I really love hot cocoa). I also snatched her no-longer-being-used bread making machine to bring back to my house and try out. I gave her one of my original paintings that she loves, a drawer for her K cups, and a CD visor for her car. Her fiance gave me a set of free weights (strong like bull!), so that'll become part of my routine. Sister got a handknitted hat with devil horns and matching gloves from us, plus a starter kit I put together for her to try decoupage.

We had dinner with Lover's family and our roommate. His father made everyone the most bangin' potato knishes I have ever had in my life, and I plan to learn how to make them. They gave us gift certificates, and we gave them a belgian waffle maker (just wait for it...).

On our way home, we dropped by a friend's house to do presents. We got their daughter the cutest little handmade monster hat, and gave them some fun art by kudu-lah. They got us...a belgian waffle maker. Score! Lol.

Roommate also gave us presents - a hot cocoa machine (everyone knows I love hot cocoa), and a snow cone machine...lol... I think we made off like bandits this season!

2. Christmas Eve. On Christmas Eve, Lover and I visited my family, bearing a gift of Chinese food (yeah, that's how we roll). We compared iPhone apps and I watched an episode of "Buffy" with my sister. That night, Lover and I returned to our home to exchange gifts. He gave me a tablet (my laptop has been dying) that he refurbished himself and filled with my favorite software programs (yay!). Along with that, he gave me a beautiful necklace, and bunny slippers, among other fun little gag gifts. I gave him a basket of humorous t-shirts (to add to his plentiful funny t-shirt collection), shot glasses that I handpainted with silly mustache faces (he's a fan of the mustache motif), and a carnivorous plant kit. My gag gift to him was an Office Space set with an Initech mug and a "Jump to Conclusions" mat.Oh yeah.

3. iPhone Acquisition. It has finally happened. I have purchased an iPhone. I love it. My favorite apps include Twitter, allrecipes, and Hipstamatic.  If you happen to share my love for the iPhone, please feel free to share your favorite apps with me by leaving a comment!

4. Gift Wrapping and Shopping. It's fun to get or make things for other people, and then wrap them up. I am thinking next year to use more sustainable gift paper like paper bags and newspaper, that I can decorate with colorful stamps. I always reuse ribbons, bows, and gift bags.

5. Twitter. I have finally discovered how to use Twitter to my benefit. As an app on the iPhone, I can follow a myriad of people and organizations whose tweets I find worth my time, and this has diversified my news sources. I retweet often articles I find the most interesting or most useful. Feel free to follow me @veramenagerie on Twitter!

Feel free to share your highlights with a comment! Happy Holidays!

Warrior Dash 2011

Because I have a little bit of a thrill-seeking personality (see skydiving pic below), and because I like to set up really awesome goals for myself,

I and my friend Angelica have signed up for Warrior Dash 2011!!!

It's a 3.2 mile run with 12 "obstacles from hell!" You get to jump over pits of fire, tiptoe across planks over muddy trenches, scale walls, and wriggle through mud beneath barbed wire. Why? Because at the end you get a t-shirt, a Viking helmet, and free beer.  

 

So, why not? The Viking helmet alone is worth it. I invite anyone and everyone to join me in the challenge!

Salient Sunday, Dec 19

Highlights of the Past Week!

1.) PARTIES! Saturday night was a holiday party hop as we drove from one party in Monroe to another in New Milford and ended at the last in Danbury. Monroe Party was hosted by some of Lover's friends, who wined and dined and chatted. New Milford Party was a relaxing stop with my Borders Crew, and was graciously hosted by Vinny and Kristen. (Shout out to the Borders Crew!) Danbury Party is a theme party that happens every year, hosted by my friend Kevin. This year's theme was "Xmas in Las Vegas," and people got dressed up in outrageous costumes as they always do (there were at least two Elvis', some burlesque dancers, and call girls). Gambling occurred in one corner, a crowded bar in another, games in the front, and dancing by the jukebox. Each party was special and filled with special people! ;)

2.) Sister Sleepover! My little sister (she's taller than me, though) slept over and we played Dragon Age before doing some gift shopping. We both love RPGs! Lover grumbled over the terrible graphics, but Sis and I can look beyond and get into the storylines. 'Cuz we're cool like that.

3.) Dinner with the 'Rents. The Mothership and her fiance came down to our place to see our totally cool lights on the house and our perfect holiday tree (we also call it the Xmas Tree, the Solstice Pine, and the Hanukkah Bush). Then we went out to eat in Fairfield to Centro, an Italian place that lets you draw on the table with crayons. Crayons FTW!

4.) Cards. The cards printed with my illustration came! I lettered about 80 cards for friends and family to be sent out in the mail. It took a long time, but I really enjoyed it!

5.) Shopping for Gifts. I am one of those people that will slowly start to shop for the holiday in mid-November, and then quickly finish it up at the last second. And I can't wait to give them away!

Cheers to everyone! Feel free to share your highlights with me!

Ricky Gervais: Why I am an Atheist

I don't think anyone should have to defend their position from any belief standpoint. I agree with Gervais in that beliefs only become a problem when they are forced upon other people. If you want to understand why some people may be atheist, and why they may feel strongly about it, check it out.

http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2010/12/19/a-holiday-message-from-ricky-gervais-why-im-an-atheist/?mod=wsj_share_facebook

Salient Sunday

Highlights of the week:

1.) The Bust Magazine 2010 Craftacular! Over 300 vendors with handmade and upcycled items. I got to see Mei-Ling and peruse her shop Twitch and Whiskers, and I accidentally bumped into Amy Sedaris' table. I got some ideas for gift-making, and Lover and I did some walking around in the City.

2.) I went with Lover and his parents to find a tree. We found our tree, and his parents found their tree, and celebration followed over lunch and drinks. Then Lover and I spent the evening decorating the tree and playing video games. We glued googly eyes to the star. Tree win!

3.) Continuous Learning Day (part of the AmeriCorps Public Allies program) happened in Bridgeport, and we got to learn more about the legislative process and how lobbyists and advocates come into the arena to introduce and fight for bills to pass. It's intense, and I'm even more intrigued about bills and policies.

4.) The Bridgeport Public Allies team had their Community Conversation, in which we received really constructive feedback to help inform our team service project. I'm really looking forward to seeing it happen.

5.) I finished my painting for a holiday card to send out to family and friends. I'll post it here after I send it out. Happy Holidays, people!

Expectations and Praise

I was thinking today about some of the sermons I listened to from the Unitarian Universalist Church of Danbury, where I am a member. Once per month, the church has a layperson lead the sermon, which leads to quite a fun variety in church services.

I specifically recall one where Joni Lowe, owner of Positive Energy Dance in Brookfield, talked about "the brag" and the "updive." Defying one of the pervasive aspects of our culture where people tend to hear more criticism than they do praise (whether or not it is true), the brag is a purposeful announcement of accomplishment in some area of one's life. It could be as simple as "I picked my dirty socks up from off the floor this morning," to "I found the cure to cancer." The updive is the purposeful response containing only high praise ("You picked up your socks, when really you didn't have to? Wow! Way to get organized!" "You found the cure for cancer? You deserve a Nobel Prize.")

The intent is to cultivate a culture wherein merit is given where merit is due, even for the merest and smallest of chores, even things that are expected or easy. Yes, I can expect that people should clean up after themselves, but really, that's my placing a personal value judgment to an action. Action (and inaction) exists no matter my opinion.

I bring this up only because my co-worker today mentioned that she was going to pick up her daughter's report card. Her daughter has been a straight A student since kindergarten (she is now in high school), and got an 84 in math. My co-worker was stressed out about her husband's reaction to their daughter's slip in the grade. Then she shared with me that he would criticize their daughter even if she got a 98 on a test ("What happened to the other two points?") rather than praising her for getting a good grade in the first place.

I can attest from personal experience that this is a dangerous road to take on a child's grades.

I can understand where we're allowed to have certain expectations in certain relationships and in communities, jobs, etc. However, our expectations can lead to a lot of disappointment and conflict. There has to be give and take, and there has to be praise and recognition of the positive, and if an expectation is not met, there has to be a fair dialogue. Meaning, if I expect something of another person and they don't meet my expectation, I have to determine whether or not it is a fair expectation, and if I'm sure it is, how can I and the other person work together to have it met...if the other person is even interested in meeting it.
Of course, this isn't always easy. But, that's life. It is a work in progress.

I'm not a parent, so I have the luxury of time to think and consider my actions. I hope that if one day I have a child who gets a 98 on a test, I will say, "Great job! I'm so proud of you!" And if the question she or he missed is an indication that they needed to study that particular part of the topic a little more, I'd help them with it. Becaue it's my expectation that they do their best and improve upon themselves when they can.

Anyway, anyone who reads this blog is totally allowed to leave a brag, to which I will respond with an updive, no matter how insignificant your action may have been to some.

Bridgeport Help Portrait 2010

Help Portrait is a global not for profit movement that provides free portrait photography to families and individuals in need. I and a few other Public Allies got to be a part of the movement this past Saturday in Bridgeport. It only took a few hours of our time in printing out pictures, taking on-scene photos, doing set-up and breakdown, and signing folks in.

The Bridgeport organizers of this totally awesome event gathered professional photographers, make-up artists, and more volunteers to help the day run smoothly - and so it did! We had approximately 250 families in a span of five hours. Individuals got a free 5 x 7 and families got an 8 x 10, as well as forwarded e-mails or burned CDs of their photos.

 

I got to walk around and spend time with some of the participants. I sat down and talked with one woman who lost her son the year before. She told me about how she still sees her son in her grandson's face and in his antics. Another woman brought in her three little girls - seven, four, and four months. We drew with crayons together. Help Portrait's slogan is "A picture is worth." The people coming in were thrilled to get their make up done and see professonal pictures of themselves and/or of their family. I saw a lot of moms bringing in their kids to pose, smiling as they fussed over their hair and clothes. There was a lot of laughter and good feeling in the atmosphere.

I can't wait for next year, when we can do it again! Whether you volunteer, or you are a recipient of volunteer services, there's more to it than the actual service supplied. In this case, the service supplied was a nice portrait. Beyond that, we (both volunteers and recipients) are building bridges and creating community. Community is what supports and strengthens us as social creatures. Anyone can volunteer, and anyone can share a smile, a story, or solace.

"A picture is worth."

Salient Sunday

Salient is a word that describes a feature that is prominent, conspicuous, most noticeable or important. In topography or architecture it is that section which juts out to form an angle.

Really, Salient Sunday is just the day where I talk about the highlights of my week. And, my week will include 9 days instead of 7 this time.

So, in the extended week of November 27th to today, December 5th, the highlights were (and not in order of importance):

1.) Having potato latkes and celebrating Hanukkah with Lover's family. I love celebrating holidays now. Any of them. Just the fun ones.

2.) Volunteering in the Bridgeport Help Portrait 2010 event!

3.) Seeing my Forest Folk friends for plenty of food, community, and crafts!

4.) Recrafting an altoid tin with pretty paper and glitter. Simple crafts are a great break from fine arts stuff.

5.) Painting two more pictures for Kathy's children's book.

6.) Getting a hemoglobin count of 13.2. A good count is 12-15, and as a vegetarian, 13.2 is great!

7.) Building a raised garden bed with Lover in the backyard. It's 32' long!

8.) Putting up the holiday lights on the roof of the house and on the tree in the front yard, and getting to come home to their rosy glow everyday since.

9.) Finishing "The Joy of Living" by Tibetan monk Yongey Mingur Rinpoche and starting "The Female Brain" by neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizendine.

10.) The condom demonstration! For those who don't know, part of my job is sex education, and we finally got to "Ok, we want you to wait until you are ready to have sex, and when you are ready, to know how to put a condom on correctly to prevent against pregnancy and STDs." There were many humorous moments.

If you have any salient moments or events from your week that you'd like to put out there, feel free to comment!

Merry December!

It is finally getting cold in Connecticut. Though we had some chilly days in November, there were plenty of bright, beautiful and nothing brumal.

In my old blog, I had started listing monthly goals and accomplishments, here, for all to see, for extra motivation on meeting the goals. I’ve been remiss in that, and have decided to correct it.
So, drum roll please…

Goals for December:

1.) Starting with health. I have been performing a weekly session of yoga. I am increasing my minimum of sessions to twice per week (at 30 minutes each), plus a minimum of one 30 minute session of dance. I have ceased running because I dislike the cold… But it’s not entirely out of the picture. My ultimate goal is to do cardiovascular exercise everyday for at least 30 minutes, but I am taking it step by step. The yoga relaxes my mind, makes my body feel young and limber, and helps protect against injuries in running or dancing.

2.) Again with health. I am looking to reduce my intake in calories, especially empty calories like fried foods, and sweets. But I have such HORRENDOUS chocolate cravings. I have cut out the extra mochas and hot chocolates by reducing my budget for them. Foods filled with proteins and plenty of fiber will help with hunger cravings (as will drinking plentiful water), but I don’t know what will help with the chocolate. Any ideas? Right now my goal is no more than one hot chocolate per day, and no more than one serving of chocolate dessert, be it in the form of candy or baked goods.

3.) Make and send out holiday cards. I always think of it too late every year. I am going to make it a priority.

4.) Consolidate the boxes in the basement – I am still unpacked! But I know I can reduce the amount of boxes and the amount of space being taken up, so I will work on doing that. Starting first with unearthing Lover’s workbench.  ;)

5.) Get the sewing machine out, working, and sew some things I’ve been wanting to sew.

6.) Work on the gift idea that Lover and I had for some peeps. It’s an awesome idea – we just have to get to doing it!

Thanksgiving Weekend

I can't contain the effects of this past weekend (a nice, long weekend thanks to the secular holiday of Thanksgving).

1.) The holiday itself. Lover and I went with his family in NYC. His aunt and uncle own a house where a lot of the extended family gathers each year. They hired a piano player and had hours of sing-alongs. When the piano player left, another uncle put on a CD of some great hip-hop tunes to which people danced. Meanwhile, the roughly 25 of us that were present chatted, mingled, rocked our hips and sipped wine and beer. When we sat down for dinner finally, everyone around the table named things they were thankful for. I said I was thankful for my family, my dog Malai, my job, and for their family.

2.) Black Friday. I'm not a big shopper. But since Lover's family makes Thanksgiving a three-day event (!), we drove back into the city, and had dinner again. We walked around and happened upon a craft fair in Union Square where Lover and I invested in some art for our kitchen (aren't these the cutest??? My favorite is the one-eyed furry guy named Gnaw. The artist is kudu-lah and has an etsy shop.) Lover and I share a thing for art that might be considered a little strange...

We also found a snail for our aquarium (yes, we have been looking). His name is Happy. And he leaves trails...get it??? He'll also help maintain the cleanliness of the tank which makes for healthier fish.

We visited the megastore of all Petcos. I never realize how much the NYC Petco offered - kittens for adoption, and a giant variety of creatures and creature accoutrements. I saw so many cool crustaceans that Lover decided it was time for me to be removed from the store. I'll admit the idea was a good one, because I can be a impulse pet buyer (but I am also an excellent pet caretaker, and my impulse occurs only after I have googled the care needs and history of the animal in question with my phone - yay for technology!).

We visited The Strand, a very large used bookstore. Used bookstores are of course among my favorite things of all time. I was removed from that store as well before the buying really began. :)

And then we went by a really eco-friendly recycling type of store whose name I can't for the life of me recall! Lover bought me a wallet made of Tyvek (he really thinks I would do better to carry one), which is a material that cannot be ripped and acts as a barrier against liquid water (water vapor can penetrate, but that is not an issue). I was curious about the sustainability/recycling aspect and found this (from Wikipedia) among confirming info from other sites:

 "Though Tyvek superficially resembles paper (for example, it can be written and printed on), it is plastic, and it cannot be recycled with paper. Despite the fact that some Tyvek products are marked with the #2 resin-code for HDPE, it is not usually collected with plastic bottles as part of municipal curbside recycling programs. Instead, DuPont runs a program in the United States where disposable clothing, coveralls, lab coats, and other Tyvek disposable garments can be recycled, as well as providing a mail-in recycling program for envelopes."

So it seems to me that Tyvek is only eco-friendly when is it is being continually used or repurposed. The kit DuPont uses to recycle (it's actually downcycle) Tyvek costs you $15. A Tyvek wallet is a good example of Tyvek being eco-friendly, because it need not go into a landfill, unless I purposely try to wreck it with scissors, in which case it can still be reused for something else or it can be sent to DuPont. However, it is still plastic. Plastic does not biodegrade - it photodegrades, meaning it becomes tiny particles present in our soil and water. Plastic is forever. This is why I am not a fan of plastic bags at stores, and carry my own cloth bags. The unfortunate effect of downcycling is that the materials produced are of a lesser quality than the original item.

However, it's an awesome wallet - thin, lightweight, and highly durable. It'll last me many, many years, and then if I get tired of it, I can always send it to a place like Unstitched Utilities, which reuses Tyvek to create shoes.

3.) Saturday. We woke up early, played video games, and fell back asleep. We woke up again, and then decided to put lights on one of our trees on the front lawn. That turned into lights for the tree and the whole house!

But I can't tell you how delightful it is to come home to a colorfully lit house for the holidays.

4.) Sunday. Not such a relaxing day, but a productive one. Lover and I built a raised garden bed for the backyard - 32 feet long! I'm so glad to have that and the vermicomposting started. I still want to build an outdoor composter. I already have a lot of seeds (yay for seed sharing with friends), but January and February will mean ordering ones I don't have, and March is indoor planting time!

And that is about the sum of my Thanksgiving weekend. I hope yours was wonder-full.

Annelids!

I wrote a blog in which I was waiting for worms. Since the arrival of the worms, I have yet to share my excitement and fascination with this admittedly odd project. 

(I say that it's odd only because it is outside the knowledge and trend of the mainstream society, though worms are a natural option for composting processes.)

Worm composting is known as vermicomposting, and the "movement" and process of vermicomposting is known as vermiculture. After reading "Worms Eat My Garbage" and ordering a vermicomposter and a pound of Eisenia fetida (red wigglers, as your run-of-the-mill earthworm will not survive in the vermicomposter), I can now say I am a participant in vermiculture, and my kitchen scraps don't go into a landfill. Woot!

I prepared the vermicomposter with their bedding - a layer of coir to start, with a layer of shredded newspaper and cardboard. In one corner I put some tomatoes and lettuce leaves that were starting to go bad.

The worms are packaged in peat moss and travel for two days. Worms need moisture to breathe through their skin, and peat moss contains just enough moisture for them to travel. I imagine they are much happier now in their new home!

Every other evening I walk down into my basement with about a pound of food scraps and shredded newspaper (a 1/2 pound of substance per day per pound of worms for feeding). I place the food with the newspaper on top (good fiber!) in a different spot each time for the worms and all the other microorganisms that come with them to work their magic! It has been about two weeks, and already I can see a change. Worm poo everywhere.

Let's be honest, folks. A lot of dirt is worm poo. Good compost is a healthy mix of worm poo (called castings) and decomposed "stuff" forming a rich, earthy humus that plants love. Healthy, organic soil means healthy plants, which can lead to a healthy you.