Discomfort

 

The path to achievement is uncomfortable. Yet a little discomfort now will prevent a lot of regret later. ~Ralph Marston

 This quote could apply to so many different areas of my life. Growth IS uncomfortable! There's the pains and the stretch marks and the mess...oye.

I've started remembering my dreams again. I dreamt of something horrible this morning - headless people whacking the heads off of other people - but it gave me a new idea for a short story, beginning to end! With our new study setup, I have easy access to my desk and a comfortable seat where I can spew words on a page. It got me thinking that I wanted to take time to sit down and write again.

So a couple weeks ago, I did. Pulling story ideas and characters from my head was like pulling teeth! It was terribly painful, and I began to fear that my well of creativity had gone dry from disuse. In a way, it did. But I kept sitting down to write - I made the time and I sat in front of my computer and I wrote out some ideas and some paragraphs, and I deleted ideas and paragraphs... I just kept doing it until in frustration I poured out a lot of deep-down feelings about what it meant to write and what did I really want to write, and from there, an idea began to form. An idea for a novel, and though this kind of novel will require more research on my part, I'm excited and nervous about its formation.

Then I have this dream, and in my head throughout the day at work, I wrote a story around the dream. Now it'll mean some time putting it to the page, fleshing it out, and editing, but I am so ecstatic to have a story at all. Even if it's terrible, it's something. Earlier this evening, I brewed a cup of caffeine-free peppermint tea, lit my chocolate-scented candle gifted to me by a dear friend, and started the writing.

I can continue working on the novel, and still write short stories. Who knows, maybe the poetry will make an appearance, too.

In another area of discomfort, I interviewed a few candidates for a position at the after-school program I manage. I have the delightful privilege to tell someone (who is currently unemployed) that they got the job, but I have the sticky displeasure to tell three other people (two of whom are also unemployed) that they did not. I've also had to, in this year, fire someone, suspend someone, and have given a few employees warnings. This is all in the best interest of the program. I expect for staff to be professional, safe, and flexible. We serve approximately one-hundred-forty K-6 students, and I have got to ensure the quality of the program, and therefore the quality of its staff. Also, I have to stretch to fit new shoes of a supervisor, and improve upon myself.

Again, discomfort for the sake of good.